celestial awakening
xxxxxx
night stars are the street lights of eternity.
Explore.
Wednesday, December 28, 2011 @ 12:46 PM leave a comment? | 5 shed some light


I'm going to be out of town for 4 days and 3 nights. :) My relatives and cousins wants to go to Jogja in the island of Java to see those monuments like Borobudur and all. We're gonna ride a bus and reach there after 12 hours from Jakarta, so it's gonna be a pretty long ride. I'm gonna need to pack up loads of things to entertain myself cause I'm the type of person who gets bored really easily.

I might have an issue packing up because..




Apparently my wardrobe's full of clothes, or you can say overloaded. I don't think my parents will buy me another wardrobe for me so the only thing I can do is tell my maid to help me clean it after a few months/weeks or so. :(

Anyways, New Year is coming up. :) I'm gonna celebrate my new years out of town and probably party all night in a hotel or something. LOL. I hope the fireworks in Indonesia would be much better than last time. haha. Moreover, I want to stare at the sky at night and see the stars. I hope I'm gonna stay in a villa on top of the mountains. weee *dreams on*


Here's one picture of me. LOL random but yeah. :)


Okay, byes! :)




Christmas.
Monday, December 26, 2011 @ 12:37 PM leave a comment? | 2 shed some light
Thank you TIFFANY for the icon/gift. :) hehe it's cute! :3

Yesterday was a typical day of Christmas. Went out with my relatives for yam cha and hanged out with my cousins in my house till night. I didn't celebrate much of Christmas though.

Either ways, I feel blessed and thankful to God for what I have, for who had always been there for me and made me happy and of course, those who never fail to make me smile and make me feel thankful for who I am. Let everyday be like Christmas, a day filled with joy and happiness.

Gonna go out with my cousins again for lunch and bowling today. :) weeee.




Christmas Eve tonight.
Saturday, December 24, 2011 @ 11:18 AM leave a comment? | 2 shed some light
Wee, it's Christmas Eve tonight and I have no idea what I'm gonna do except for a dine out with my relatives and family tonight. If I were in Singapore now I'd probably hang around in Orchard Road till the middle of the night! :D Anyways, I can't wait for Christmas to come, even though I guess I'm not gonna do anything much as usual.


If you don't like me, leave me alone. If you don't want to take care of me, leave me alone. If you don't want to be bothered by doing things for me, leave me alone. I'm not a loner, but I do stand up for myself. I can take care of myself. I'm an individualist and I don't need people who do not want to take care of me to be there for me.




Christmas in 3 days! ★
Thursday, December 22, 2011 @ 11:43 AM leave a comment? | 0 shed some light

So Christmas is coming up in 3 days and I can't wait for my cousins and relatives to be here in Indonesia tomorrow so I won't have a lonely christmas again. :) I've been shopping a few times since the holidays and the worst part is.. I have just bought 2 christmas gifts.

Well, these past few days have been nothing much, except for going out for dinner and hanging out with my friends yesterday. :) I've got holiday homeworks piling up and I guess I should be in the middle of it by now since it's less than 20 days for my first day of my second term. I've gotta study with more concentration and less distraction since my marks this term are horrible.

I'm gonna make today a productive day so I can have fun this Christmas! I can't wait for christmas and I don't even have any idea what I'm gonna do. lols. :)

I wish I can gaze at the stars, look at the bright moonlight and stare at the sky all night, searching for shooting stars, making a wish, hope and dream. I wish I can look at the blue sky, stare at the clouds on mountains and hills in the daylight. I wish I can just lie down on the grass and look above, close my eyes at some point and feel calm, thinking that everything can just work out perfectly. One day, I want to spend my day and night thinking that everything is perfect and there's nothing to be worried about.

..but no, Jakarta's super polluted and there's no mountains and hills so that I can lie down and stare at the sky or the bright stars at night. So I'll just wait for that someday..yeah someday. :p




Life is a journey.
Monday, December 19, 2011 @ 10:26 PM leave a comment? | 0 shed some light

Sometimes, some people will never see what you are feeling. They would think that I'm just joking and they would just think it's fun. People do not get that I'm not always that insane, outgoing and hyperactive person that would always enjoy life. They'll think that there's something wrong with me when I feel frustrated and they wouldn't care. They would just leave you for they would prefer to be happy with others than to cheer someone up. I'm not a person who doesn't have a heart. I have feelings, and I know that.

People take me as a childish person thinking that I cry for small things. I'm sensitive, but I know that I have a reason why to feel unhappy. Not all the closest ones will always be there because many do not understand. I'm still young and immature. I'm still a kid who is searching for happiness until I find one as I grow up and live my own life.

Sometimes, people will shake you and make you fall. That's what actually makes me stronger because I learn how to fight back, let go and move on. I am lucky to have people who love me, those who would be there and help me to stand up whenever I fall. I feel lucky to love others and to be loved.

I'm not a patient nor a very appreciative person. That's another fact that makes me unhappy most of the time. Sometimes, I get really sick of waiting for anyone. But then, I would think to myself. Doesn't anyone ever waited for you, waiting so much and sometimes they don't even get to meet or talk to you? I'm still growing, I'll learn, I'll try to control myself and learn to become a better person. I'm still growing, I'll learn, I'll try to control myself and become a better person.

Sometimes, I would argue and become short tempered with the people I love. I would just want to, thinking that I am actually right for what I'm wrong of. Sometimes it makes me wonder why people would still accept me with many flaws I actually have. I didn't accept myself for who I am and I would well, you can say torture myself to be what I expect myself to be. That's what I lack, acceptance.

I'm still learning to accept myself. I want to grow up loving myself for who I am and accepting the fact that people love me for who I am.

There are many things I do not get yet and there is so much in life that I should explore. You wouldn't realize it, but in a blink of an eye and as you grow up, you'll realize that you've already grown up. It would be sad if you do not get to discover and explore what your life can actually be. Discover new things, learn, laugh, act insane sometimes and be happy. Love to be loved.

I'm still thirteen. I'll learn to hold on, let go, move on, and understand what true happiness feels like.

Life is a long journey. My life is a story, and I know that it's still the beginning.




HELLOOO. :)
Sunday, December 18, 2011 @ 5:37 PM leave a comment? | 0 shed some light
Err, I deleted all my posts and replaced my cbox. LOL.
Maybe it's just because I want a new beginning. I want to forget the past and move on. :)
Idk, it just feels like my old posts are sort of um, depressing? And I just want to feel much better cause I'm not feeling unhappy now.

It's been more than six months since I didn't post. *sigh* Well on the bright side, I decided to go back to blogging because I really miss the people I've talked to around the world. I miss my cyberworld friends. :)

And I changed my layout? How is it? Simple but hmm, yeah.

Oh and,
I went to Singapore last week and it was pretty awesome especially with the fact that I shopped with my friends there. Me and my friend stayed in fairmont for 3 nights and then I had to stay one night in my cousin's apartment. I was pretty hyped up with the fact that christmas is coming up and the sales are on! :)

We also went to Universal Studios and it was pretty epic. I rode the gigantic roller coaster called human cause I didn't dare to ride cylone, hehe. Well it was quite scary since I never rode a huge roller coaster before.

If any of you guys need a relink, please feel free to tag me. ♥ and, link exchange is not opened yet. I've too many links already so we'll see. :)




© helena ♥. Contents are owned by the owner unless otherwise stated.
Layout hand-coded by Rainy Martini. With colors from colourlovers and fonts from googlefonts.